fdhkflsajdksad

"i guess i'll see you next lifetime... next time i'll make you mine"

erykah badu

good stuff :]

iont feel like explainin tho... but good stuff

:]

j knows.... teehee (cheesy grin.)

aim: chiiil beeeitch. copy. paste it. block it.

new dude on the noggin

like forreal this time...

me && j went to the beach && ended up meeting these 2 guys who just moved out here... play for a basketball league... 1st n 2nd years at this one college that i forgot the name of 6'4" and 6'6"... both tatted.

:]

2 am rolled around.. me && j were bored soooo we made a phone call and...

:]

lol but uhm that's not the dude that's on my mind at the moment. they're just good... company.

school started thursday... takin niggerology 101 (ethnic studies 1A) bio and math 10A... hope my package comes tomorrow!

my buddies gotta come down to SD now that they visted wack ass san fran (yea i'm just jealous...) && we can have a good ol time.

there's this one guy who's on me kinda nastily && i'm tryna figure out how to stop it cuz i'm nooot feelin it at all lol. i'm sure a snippet of a convo will demonstrate why.

*in his car, on the way to a party*

me: want a Mamba?! :-D

him: ....i want chu....

*pause..... pausepausepausepausepause..... pause*

me: ..... so i guess you don't want it-- i'll eat it.

j && others: laughter.

me: awkwardly chewing && smiling

anyways. here are some of the bored HOEments me && the hoe'n partner go thru daily:

big burthuh, finally documented on a still camera

they say i got ass... i'm like... i know.

That White Bitch Fucked More Black Guys Than Slavery

elize died.

but she'd like everyone to know... lil' wayne blogs... she's on it

So Apparently We're The Shit

ah cha chahhh yesterday/this morning was cool...

so there was a party at this one club downtown... && it turned out to be semi-wack. so me && julieanne decide to leave && go eat at the Hard Rock... we're walkin... dudes are whistling && doin all that annoyin ass junk

&& we walk past this bar, && these two guys are like 'awwww yall not gon just walk by us like that, c'mon inside, i'm the bartender && the first shot's on me... let's go'

so we keep walkin lol && then eat dinner. while at dinner, this dude she used to talk to [who's unbelievable fine... gahhhhdayummm] asked if we were tryna kiggit later on with his friend... so she's like fasho, come get us from here... blah dee blah...

so after dinner we were walkin around && stuff in our club fits && pumps, which wasn't the best attire to go sight-seeing in, but eventually we pass that SAME bar with them thirsty guys. so the other guy (that wasn't the bar-tender) was like 'alright. lemme just talk to yall for ONE second...' && gets the f.ck in front of us && prevents us from walkin... so we stop, just cuz we were restless as f.ck && took like 3 espresso shots like an hour before && needed some entertainment...

long story short, the dude turns out to be f.ckin Ivan S Harris, this photographer that also promotes parties && shit (google him)... we exchanged numbers and noooow i got a connect into clubs... && not being 18 yet is NO longer a factor in SD :-D

cheaaaa being attractive is fun.

anyways, the dudes come && we ended up kiggin it in Julieanne's dorm til like 3 or 4 this morning

;-]

i only got one class tuesdays and thursdays... and it starts at 3:30, so i'm super diggin this schedule, esp since it leaves a bunch of room for networking :]

out thoooo

bitch look... vs... 'sorry i look better than you' look...

still deciding which one should be my go-to face

think i gotta find one that's somewhere inbetween...

:]

Settle 4 U, Beyonce

"i always loved you, 

even tho u did me wrong

i always stayed by your side

i guess i was your fool

i always cared

there's no one above you--

i swear

...cheated on me-- 

now she's there.

she wont answer your calls,

won't give you nothin at all

i guess i'll be the one

standin with open arms

...sucker for love...

guess i'll be the one

who'll settle for you

i can never leave u, 

no matter how hard i try

you'll probably do it again

i'll still be right here waitin

nothin has changed

it remains 

the same

i can't explain''

so anyways i heard this song && i was like daaaaaaing this is soundin hella familiar lmao. but I can't completely relate like someone else I have in mind.... it's in my genes to be self-reliant... && to know the difference between good situations and ones that arent't *quite* right... some people struggle with that though. shit maybe in their older age they'll get that concept down... meanwhile i'll be doin my thaang

if i ever find myself unhappy... i'll know it's by my own hand... but yea... that's done and it turned out JUST like 'I Think I Love My Wife'

:]

i went to the first BSU meeting yesterday && it was fun :-D this guy invited me && the hoe'n partner to a beach thing && a bonfire later that same night. sooo i'm there. OH! alsoo... my suitees are talkin about goin to get tattoos && piercings next week so this is a perfect opportunity to get my tongue repierced. i'm tryna get a red tongue ring so it'll be the cherry on top of my extremely hoe-ish nurse outfit. ouuuu i'm ready.

i start classes tomorrow... ahh but there's a party tonight :[

i gotta see what imma do... out muhfuckuhhsss

be happy :]

I Call This... Boredom

waitin to buy some more posters for my room... soooo i did what i do best when bored... took random pictures... backdrop this time... my roommate's side of the room... enjoy

If I Wasn't So Dark, I'd Have A Bruise...

fuuuuuuuuck those parties were fun... went to the first one && met up with 

julieanne (my hoe'n partner), 

casey (my new half samoan, half native american dancing buddy... aka.... the only dude in the entire freshman class who can dance) 

and lana (another fellow black person that adds to the 1% population)

so julieanne calls up two of her friends that go to state (sdsu), they come && join us and we go to this one frat party where eeeveryone was drunk as fuck lol but they had free drinks sooooo... yea :-] it was fun tho cuz i found all the black people in SD :-D

we went to denny's && i got in at 3 again... but my roommate didn't wake up this time so i'm strrraight... 

we're still doing welcome week activities so that's super wack, but eh... it'll be done soon

that's my room =]

So, I Vlog Now...?

updaaaate: i love it out here... partied the first night... but then i felt bad cuz i told my roommate i was gonna kiggit with her... && then accidentally woke her up on my way back into the room... around 3... :-[

she's cool abt it tho, so that means we should get along super well. seeing everyone from SB makes me so happy, it's ridiculously gay. 

i have a new snack collection, but this time its waaay bigger.

i lost the battery for my camera so i'm kinda lackin in that catagory... which saddens me.

there's a frat party tonight... me && the hoe'n partner are ready for this one

old hispanic men love them some me out here. eww

i still get sad when i think about home, but i believe that's called homesickness... people get over that.

Nooooo

kjkfsdjfdjfkdslfdsl!!!!

so i wasn't supposed to get sad but ahh damnnn imma miss my damn chillen partners SOOO fuckkken bad :-[

i've been kiggin it with ryan && hebe since i've been back && tomorrow's the last day i got chillen with em before i become a real ass official student :-[ 

these 3 weeks have been SO fun && i've done soooo much shit with the both of em whether its just me && hebe kiggin it, eatin && coming up with random ideas or me && ryan laughin at the dumb stuff we notice all day, or all 3 of us (+ cristy) chillen waaaaay too hard, it's just as fun everytime...

i didn't realize how much i was missing out on til i got back && wasn't so focused on chillen with my old partner (not dissin em tho, i swear), but instead hung out with my buddies eeeeevery single day. each day really did get more fun as time passed && imma miss them muthereffers so baddd

i may be simpin now but sheeeit in november everything's gonna be suuper straight cuz i'm gonna see em again && pick up where we left off... we're gonna be doin this stuff til we got grandkids..! :-]

hebe at my little 15/16th birthday shindig =-]

ha... phillip ryan && my hand at hebe's birthday celebration... good times

and THENNNNN cristy && tirsit's punk asses leave saturday tooo...!

eff all that... i'm gonna like, sleep diagonally tonight, just to switch shit up right before we leave. i shoulda hosted one last sleepover for all of us... shucks. next time, i got this

1/4

now i don't feel right postin anything without a picture attached... buuut i'm guessing i left my camera somewhere... imma find it before i leave!

last night was... yea... two eighths... i believe that makes one fourth... but it's gone now, except the mixture of 3 fiyahhssss that i got with me :-] just tryna decide who to share it with (or if imma take it to SD with me... for an emergency)

pretty sure me && hebe the messican are gonna go into business together... lmao damn we know THEE perfect munchie combinations... we already got a fanbase && all that good stuff.

ahh when i got home, i super knocked outttt. ionno what imma do today, but i'm pretty sure i'm still slightly blown. 

quotin marley, cuz i can relate && i'm outttt.. breffust time bitchesss

"Marley" (10:06:48 AM): i got the munchies like a mug ! 

Memoirs Of A Weave Wearer :-]

so ryan && marquise are dickheads... 

ryan's away msg: odette in love yall!!

(2 minutes later): correction.... "lust" lmao 

marquise's: Damn Myra!!!   U in love again???

so just to verify. i'm definitely not in love again lmao but i now know not to talk to any of my male friends about dudes i'm talkin to... i never mind tho lol but they ask more questions than my breezies... like daaammmnn... 

i'm glad i'm not goin through some lonely, long ass sad period tho lol cuz eeeeveryone knows that was the case last year with the other ex... but i guess it kinda came back at him this past month, even tho i feel really badly about it... :-\ (buuut i won't get into that)

leavin saturday! happens to be a kappa party that saaame night :-]

look at me being all collegiate && whatnot

my swoop... wasn't exactly.... swoopin...

Laughing. My. F.cken A.s Off

i do NOT understand how she loses the beat halfway through the 

song... how da fuck we sposedta keep peace?

''My Wallet Might Be Empty, But My Closet Is Full.''

'...and when i come back,

we gon do it again

promise--

we gon do it again...'

a little SHWAYZE fah daddassssss. sheesh i love them.

so anyways, i'm in the process of packing... && i'm not even sad! this junk just seems normal now. i think it was cuz i was gone for a month already so this time it just feels like... 

'eh... *shoulder shrug*'

i somehow managed to spend all my graduation money and the random 500 my dad gave me last month... if only herb, food && gas were free... i'd be uber rich. i think imma hafta hustle someone for some money this week so i can get some more shopping in... (or sell hard drugs... ah cha chahhhh... imagine that)

so here's what imma miss the most when i leave:

-my fbs :(

-my car...!

-the weather

-ppls' unique swag :-\ (it's so different in SD)

-my house...

-my overly-spacious room (ahh i have the smallest dorm room imaginable)

-my mommah cuh :-]

on the other hand... i got some shit to look fwd to :-D

-constant parties

-my new posse :-]

-freedommmmmmmm

-networking!

-runnin the sheeeit outta ucsd.

-catchin up with my hoe-in partnuhh

i think i'm just excited to leave and in an SUPER good mood right now... it may have something to do with last night's festivities with this one feller. :-]

cheeeaa that was fun.

Boredom In A Blue-ish Blouse.

nothin reeeeally new. doin the same junk :)

entering the weave world later today. yayyy

&& then goin out to dinner with this one guy a little after that.

enjoy my boredom-filled pictures... they're lovely

Guess This One's About Music...

"chilled together forever- 
real mellow 
she fell in love 
I had her at hello 
I couldn't say goodbye 
she was too special" 
i effin love shwayze...


before anyone claims it-- please let it be known

love lockdown... by kanye west

is my new f.ckin favorite song.

i think that's it :-]

My Version Of Love... Awww

when you two have the same amount of fun during the day as you do at night..

when chicken sandwiches bring you both immeasurable joy... && eating time turns into 'silent, happy time' (for like 10 minutes cuz you're both fatties)

when chillen becomes a full on activity, equipped with missions that always lead up to perfect sexxin...

when you're willing to try anything when you're together just cuz u don't want him/her to call u a weenie (except .... && that one bungee jump 'ride' at 6 flags)

when his ashy hands and her constantly shedding weave are considered a part of their everyday, charming swag && you start to look past it && stop offering lotion && combs...

when you threaten someone you've known for forever just cuz they're going a liiiittle too hard on them...

when you're both willing to bust SUPER thirsty missions and pay friends gas money that neither of you really have... just to see them

when your conversations flow so easily that you lose track of time (&& curfews... woops)

when you two can account for and tell stories from every level of friendship you've covered over a looooong ass period of time (with aim logs, insiders, pictures, voice-mails and emails to reinforce em)

when you're able to tease the other person because u know they can't live without you. :-]

when activities you usually do with that person become LACKLUSTER when you do them with someone else...

when they're your motivation for getting a car, finding a job, or begging for gas money everyday...

when spurts of jealousy arise cuz you know they're out with someone else.. && having fun that you're not responsible for...

when you can't sleep the night before you two have something semi-big planned...

when u call 911 for their dying asssss on a date night

when you go to the museum for em. (lmao oh, MOCA)

when you change the song in the car cuz you know they don't like it, but won't ever tell you cuz they know you love it :-]

when even though u say u never wanna talk to them again... you constantly check up on em on myspace, blogspot, or away msgs...

when their name in your phonebook changes every time some new insider pops up, or whenever they're acting like a dickhead (>:o)

when no matter how f.ckin mad you are at each other, you still listen to eeeeverything the other has to say to you, without interrupting...

when they still wanna be with you despite all the explicit, disrespectful things you've said to them...

when their tears make you cry...

when the biggest fuck-up occurs and you consider looking past it, despite knowing what the best solution is...

when they'll always have a place in your heart, no matter what

when you reflect on your past relationship... && smile instead of cry... && honestly hope the best for them, even though you're not a part of their life anymore

Bob, You BITCH

so bob the f.ckin MONSTER is back. 

ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu that motherf.cker got me again.

i didn't even realize i've been stressin since i got home til this bitch came. kahhhhh. f.ckin up my lovin && socializing routine that i just got started up again :(

so anyways. i want some spaghetti. && i wrote something really nice && happy, originally... but thennnn bob came && i realized whoooo was responsible for it, so i decided not to post it :)

ahh this one dude who used to call.... frequently.... (some may consider him a... frequent caller)... found out i was single SOME.HOW. && is back at it... with my NEW cell phone number too. like, whuhhhhht the hell... guess i can run buuut i can't hide. lol damn it's basically like February--August just didn't happen, cuz shit is starting to fall back into place except i feel i got a better control of everything this time... oh! especially since i leave in like... 11 days. i GOT this shittttt.

ps. AHHHHHH me && lil' wayne are destined to be together lol we got the same burgundy scarf :-D.... ouuuu we're so close to bein lovers, i can feel it... gimme a couple years

'When You Smoke The Herb, It Reveals You To Yourself" Bob Marley :-]

"Think that young men and women are so caught by the way they see themselves. Now mind you; When a larger society sees them as unattractive, as threats, as too black or too white or too poor or too fat or too thin or too sexual or too asexual, that's rough. But you can overcome that. The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself. If we don't have that, we never grow, we never learn, and sure as hell, we should never teach. " -Maya Angelou

I didn't realize how easy it is to just get caught up in a systemic life without really deciphering what makes an individual different from everyone else. not my parents, family history, or cultural background, but me personally. Its so easy to conform && do what's expected, but realizing who u really are, finding out what u truly believe in, and what kind of morals you posses is worth all the time that it takes to break down the walls && barriers that you may have set to hide what or who you are...

I'm working on it daily, and the possibility of finally understanding myself is what lures me into the quiet reflective state that I enter throughout the day. Til tomorrow, I suppose :)

Cheaaa

yesterday started off waaaaack as hell && i heard the frat party at usc was fun as f.ck, but it's straaaight cuz... even tho i was set on stayin home && being sad, i left around 10 && kicked it with one of my old fb's til like 12, 1 && then hit up my other buddy's kickback.

it's weird not having to be home at a certain time... i'm so used to my rigid ass curfew

random note. i can't waaait to get the Jazmine Sullivan album when it comes out :) i think i'm actually gonna buy it... (*gasp*)

i leave the 20th! :-D i'm excited to leave this time... && then come back for some gumbo on Thanksgiving (fat gaze)

Yaaauuup I Had Shorts On...

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck 

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

so today sucks. i got what i wanted. but it's not really what i wanted... cuz i don't know what i want. but uhhhhm. i passed up a super frat party tonight. i don't feel like doin shitttt. kahhh. ughhh.

i'm tryna chill && forget about this shit.

Just Cuz The Subject Line Can't Be Blank...

ahhh yesterday was f.cin amazing

song worked much better this time :-D

kicked it with an old fb. tired. but it's friday... and i wanna do it again...

might be chillen again tonight. ionno yet tho... i think i had an invitation out somewhere lol but not sure if that still remains... he might be tired from bustin community service missions && working... if not, kiggin it with the breezies tonight cuz that's always fun... they're talkin abt goin to this one club. sucks that i'm not 18 && have had to SUPER persuade bouncers like 3 times already (successfully)... but i still party harder than some 21+ people i know, which is a-ok with me. December comes around... i'm goin harrrrrd... :)

time for some brehfust, beeeitches i'm hongry.

Would You Mind?

my super sex song works every. time. suckerrrrs

pickin my weight back up! :-D i knew i had to when i got home && my mom was like, 'wth happened to ur thighs? they're so much smaller' so yeaaa... i'm workin on that, cuz even though the flat stomach is tight, && slim legs could have their advantages (i guess), iont wanna be super skinny... tall skinny girls look way taller to me for some reason... && that's kinda strange too.

lol i love college cuz it makes me feel like everything i say is right. && i haven't even officially started yet... && if i decide to stick to cognitive psychology.... aww sheeeit imma be analyzing everyone like crazy, i'm already knowin...

ionno what i wanna do today, but lately i feel super obese && lazy when i sleep in late... iont like sleeping my day away-- especially during the summertime when every day starts off suuuuper pretty && bright... i'm about to see who wants to beach it today :-D 

 i haven't posted a picture in quuuite some time... so... enjoy 

 

Woooops

lmao ionno wtf happened last night.

damn.

i love chillen with the old posse... && i don't quite remember everything, or even a portion of all the things that went down lmao but the shit i do remember was jooookes.

rolled past to give bdj chingy-the-chihuahua's overly-large nail clippers... && his sweat pants... && other random junk. that was fun. :)

TONIGHT! suuuuper session with the posse. ouuu i love them :-D

Whuhhhht

i think i have a foul mouth at times...

i remember it being said that those clippers were never used... i might be trippen tho...

blooowwwwwn. 

i'm hungryyyy... && i miss SD.

i'm actually starting to dislike chicken(/strip) sandwiches... weird.

love del taco tho :) mmmm.

uhmmm, there are some things i wanna know, but don't wanna ask

i may have chilled within the last hour ;)

i don't know how to talk to someone who's in love with me when the feelings aren't mutual... it's awkward. it's like.... '....sooooo....'

hiiiii(gh) sex... goodbye... may be seein u later... 

... with someone else tho. cuz.... yea, no thanks.

i change my away/available msg like, once every hour...

i'm still hungryyy :(

crunch........ crunch.... crunch.... crunch crunch crunchcrunchcrunch...

i think i want some sonic.

curfewless, but my main partnuhs are gone. poo.