2 In 1 Day? I'm Burnt.

so i'm procrastinating, right? and i was goin thru my old sk3 and all the messages that i saved. then i came up on one that i completely forgot existed and started dying. 

"Iono my mom said u look better then ex wifey..lol then no homo"

lol && i think that was after the fat girl called me ugly, too.

so i was chuckling and all that good stuff && i started thinkin of how things woulda turned out if i had taken up his invitation to hang out the friday before i left to come here, or if i had chosen to (or been able to) forgive em. && then my thoughts went a little deeper and i started thinking about the people that stay in situations just because it's what seems natural to them. && i'm definitely not excluding myself from the 'they' category.

i don't really know where this is going. i think it's one of my rants. but if i had a crystal ball that told me the complete 100% truth to all my questions, i think the first thing i'd ask is 'is he happy?' that answer, no matter WHAT it is, would honestly let me be able to breathe easy.. lol now i feel what he was sayin, talkin about the reason he stayed around with his ex was cuz he knew she needed him, and because of her dependency, would be lost without him in her life. (i'm already knowin that's not the only reason though... throw that disclaimer in there before that sparks anything)

he's not dependent. but i'm pretty effin sure he's not as happy as he could be. mayyyybe i'm trippen.

so if the completely honest answer was yes, i'd be content, cuz i'd know that sometime in the future i'd wanna get my old aim buddy back :]

and if it's no, i wouldn't be surprised... but i'm sure some of those 'super hero qualities' would unintentionally arise in me like they do in him when he knows someone he cares about needs him.

lol what a good person i am.

nah but forreal, when i am completely through with a boyfriend, i know no romantic relationship will ever spark back up, (that was super evident when the ex ex came to visit me) but i never stop caring about their well-being. if any of my ex's called me up, needing to talk, i definitely wouldn't say any petty shit cuz i know the importance of having someone to listen when u need em. sucks ass that i have no service whatsoever in my dorm room, but eh... imma work that out

anyways, i can't wait til the awkwardness dies down. i got some updates i wanna share!

out. :]

ps. if this post and/or my opinions offended anyone.... uhhhhh well shit. click that x in the top right of ur internet browser... that'll make you feel better.