Wow

i just had a lot of shit on my mind one day, and reminding myself who i am helps me solve my problems most of the time.

i don't talk openly about my personal life... not because my life is so awesome that it deserves to be kept TOP SECRET... but because my life is mine. i can do what i choose with it. i can share it with you; i can choose not to. When a person feels some kinda way about me NOT sharing, I know i've made the right decision..

i don't ask people very personal questions because I believe everyone will reveal information about themselves in their own way and on their own time. "time spent with this person" and "information i know about this person" should go hand-in-hand in personal relationships...... in a perfect world.

when i share too much information about myself, i feel like i've simplified myself to the point of "nothing-specialness". Not because my life is simple and dull; but because there are so many things that can only be felt, not spoken. my true story will never be told, so i dislike those who attempt to make me tell it.

why do you care to know details about my life? what purpose does it serve? how can i help to narrow your inquiry? what is it that you really want to know? .........questions that my brain scans every curious stranger with

i value the relationships that i maintain with people because i know that these are the people who see me as me, and like me for it.

i usually don't dislike a person until i dislike them by like 95%.... by the time that realization comes, it's a little too late for any recovery.

i thrive to be thorough

i want to be the woman whose actions reflect her beliefs

no purposeless actions, no wasted words, no fillers, no lies, no need to worry about misleading those who choose to spend their time with me.

being honest doesn't mean being rude. so i'm not rude. says me....

if looking at you doesn't make me happy, i won't smile at you.

i often wonder what type of joy liars receive as a result of their dishonesty. their happiness is rooted in the air... the positive effects of lying don't last too long.

i don't manipulate people because i don't enjoy the feelings that come with the action...

it saddens me to know that people have the potential to be so easily fooled. I wouldn't want to evoke sadness within myself, so i don't manipulate people.

i dream about a world that is more honest way more than i dream about murderously torturing the liars, fakers and manipulators... but i still think about it.

people like me because they can see that i do not act based on the influence of others. i am the one who makes my final decisions. i am my own consultant. i am my own secretary... but my parents are my bankers. for now.

i'm probably the last person in the world who would be able to switch things "back to the way they used to be." new situation; act accordingly.

i entered 2011 with the resolution that i would stop allowing others' actions to cause me to act out of character. but it's hard because i seemed to have lost the tight grip that i had on my true self. so i didn't know how to fulfill my resolution but i tried... am still trying.

people like me because i don't force them to like me at all

i'm far from a people-pleaser... i worry about my own pleasure and my own fulfillment.

i enjoy knowing what people think about me. positive, negative, neutral... i live in my own mind so i hardly know how others perceive my actions.

i don't believe in fakeness of any kind, so i'm working on making my behaviors reflect my mindset.


thanks