I'm So Corny...

lol i just sat here and looked at my blog and i think i wanna change the whole layout

like the whole way i blog...

but i always get too lazy.

then i do the same ol blogging...

but it's startin to get corny to me.

Yay For 3 Day Weekends... 'Yaaay!'

i had a verrrry good weekend at home in LA with my favorite nigga.
it seems like we did everything without really doing anything.

i swear we laid up in my bed the whole weekend... well at least inbetween meals... for 2 broke niggas, we definitely lived it up in that house....

lol random ass weekend menu consisted of him making fettuccine shrimp alfredo... the next morning i made cheesy eggs and cheese fries... hahah random as hell... but uhmm, grocery money was non-existent. shrimp chow mien and stir fry for lunch (again, that was alll me)... and some dollar menu items for dinner that night... lol smh at us... but that explains that tweet i sent out...

(thanks, @jdaflip... we definitely went to McDonald's...)

lol the next day (today...) we collaborated and made a bomb ass lunch cuz our lazy asses woke up so late.... no time for breakfast.... chicken strips, fried shrimp and rice. it was sooo good. and i believe he knew my shrimp won...

shit was goin real cool til my GRANDPARENTS walked into the house while we were in the kitchen and all i was wearing was a hoodie and UNDIES..... : /

smh... lmao man oh man.... that shit was so unexpected... but shit definitely coulda been worse. what if we were both ass naked standin in the kitchen frying up some chicken and shrimp.... smh... i don't even wanna think about it...

hahah.... i had a cool ass weekend with this dude tho; i really love him :)

....even tho we had to fight a few times.... that nigga.

on a more blog-ish note...

i know a lot of people admire what we have...

this weekend was the first time i thought about the possibility of growing used to having someone loving you unconditionally. by growing used to i mean, the same way you can get used to your brand new puppy greeting you everyday as you get home... corny ass analogy... but it's simple enough...

so this puppy:

it's cute as fuck...
and when you first get the little thing it's always on your mind...
but then at some point that shit becomes routine...
like alright... when i open this door, my dog's gonna come out, imma greet her, and imma keep walkin into the house... i'm not gonna post up and play with her, she's a cool ass dog, she knows i love her and shit....
and then naturally there are gonna be those days when you don't even feel like having dog-breath hands... so u don't fuck with it.

i guess dogs can notice just like people do, when love's luster becomes a little duller. and speaking as an ex-dog owner....[ RIP HONEY :( ] it doesn't mean the care isn't there... but shit, something's missing... and most people, like dogs, just get used to that shit... and adjust knowing things aren't the same... because what can be done unless there's effort shown from both parties...?

i don't know...

i feel selfish even thinking of this. it's just something that crossed my mind.

what i'm asking is... is love comparable to a new puppy? can two people grow so used to being in love that the spark seems more like a routine lighter fluid check...?

i know everyone's love is different... but obviously love has its common denominators among all people and all relationships...

personally, i'm glad i still feel the way i do about this dude. so though i blogged about it, this isn't an issue for me... sorry if this was anticlimactic for any nay-sayer-readers of mine.. maybe next time...

anyways... this song pretty much sums up how i feel about this dude who's clearly my favorite

"nothing's wrong... you're a beautiful problem" ♥

sooo i'm faded..

and i have these tight ass Bose headphones... these...:

(to make the story more engaging)

and Kanye West's Coldest Winter comes on....

talkin about 'memories made in the coldest winter'... all dramatic and shit.... making me feel the mess outta this song. like damn, i see you Kanye (like he was my nigga or somethin)

anyways, thanks to my headphones and kanye, it made my mind drift off... n i was like whyyyyy do i feel this song so hard....?

because i had a cold ass winter last year, duhh... aaand not just in the literal sense.... double duhhhh. plus kanye pretty much took the words outta my mouth as far as how i was feelin back then...

but that was back then.

however... i still think about it.

i wish i could erase some memories.

i'm like: why can't i control what i wanna remember....?

if it's my mind, my brain... why can't i manually forget shit that i wanna forget?

my friends know i have a TERRIBLE memory. the on-going joke is that it's cuz of my "recreational smoking" lol and i agree with that shit too, but it bothers me.

because i can't remember the smallest shit... or something that happened 3 seconds prior to someone askin me....

the thing is, i seem to have a PERFECT memory when it comes to how fast my mind can flash back to unhappier moments...

it sucks sometimes too, cuz i'll be straight, doin normal shit and something will make me flash back, and it's like i'm able to feel exactly how i was feeling at that exact moment in my memory. it sucks when i flash back to reality. feeling nauseously sad, wanting to be somewhere else....

damn memories.

anyways....

this wasn't meant as an 'ohhh i'm sad' kinda post lol even tho it seems to be the trend here at LifeofElize

ionno... i posted this cuz i wanted to share... as is the reason behind all the other posts on this little blog thing i got going... damn, i was a senior in HS when i started this... 2 years ago

before i close this post tho, lemme clarify....:

jus because i wanna erase certain memories doesn't mean i would go back and change shit if i could.

because i believe i am where i am supposed to be... and i believe that shit happens because it should.

it would just be nice to rid myself of some memories, that's all.

Imma Just Be Honest....

it seems like 2009 was tryna teach me a lesson all year... like i was its special project... and at the end of the year, 2009 delivered that message up real crucially...

lemme try and put it clearly...

to everyone: please understand that you'll never ever ever ever be as important to me as i am to myself...... and i say that in the most respectful way imaginable tho...
(actually nah, i kinda meant to hurt a couple feelings with that one)

but seriously, if i learned one thing this year... it's that, shit... some things and people need to be let go in order to move forward and remain sane.

even tho i didn't expect it to happen, a couple of my best friends turned into strangers on me this year...

and whether or not i tried to salvage what remained of these friendships, some way or another i kept coming to the saaame conclusion. i'm definitely not gonna waste time and emotion on someone who doesn't want me around.... on someone who really doesn't give a fuck about what i have to offer.... whether it be weed or words.... lol jp abt the weed. but then again not really.

plainly put: if you don't want me in your life, i don't have to be there.

as far as my stranger best friends go.... i'd much rather be IN than out of their lives... but... i also understand that most times, growth comes with drastic change. so how long can i really allow myself to be upset upon finding out that i'm not a part of your progress...?

i can't be mad at all. cuz the last thing i'd want is someone tryna force their way into my life when i'm tryna focus on bettering myself.

soooo.... to 2009 and to old homies... bye. and thanks for the fun this year, i really enjoyed it